I seem to be in an awkward spot mentally; I’m finding that my ability to think on the go is somewhat hampered. Initially I wondered if it was perhaps echoes of a year ago as I’ve changed jobs yet again. But that doesn’t really resolve it. I am admittedly, in even more desperate need of a holiday than I was a year ago, at least in part because job changes (2 in 12 months) preclude serious holiday time – it’s ok, I have a month off Oct/Nov and I’m going to Borneo with a mate. Can’t wait!

The last job change was within the same library which meant I could have a decent holiday this year and use my accrued leave. Last year, my accrued leave was paid out when I changed from vendor-side to library-side. This year, I have 4 weeks up my sleeve that I’m gonna use :-) So yes, I’m exhausted but things are being done to resolve it.

The other big thing going on at the moment is that I am finally, at long bloody last, about to get all my tax returns done. I have an appointment with an accountant on Wednesday to get 7 years worth of tax returns done ie I don’t think I’ve done a tax return since my dad died. That was a very painful year or two, and so many things went out the window as it were. Once you get a couple of returns behind, it just gets harder. So too, it means revisiting a painful time in my life in order to get the documentation for those initial tax returns. Me being me, I just kept putting it off…I am the king of procrastination.

Last week, knowing that I had the appointment this week, set aside Sunday for doing the paperwork. based on past experience I would have spent the weekend angsting and getting nothing done til the night before the appointment.

I somehow managed to second guess myself and did the paperwork hunt on Saturday :-D

And it was easy and there was no pain…or so I thought. The reality I suspect explains my current awkwardness and inability to think. Secondguessing has done wonders and means the paperwork is ready. But I’m not going to escape the sadness and that’s ok, I knew that’d be there and it’s healthy. What I have achieved is getting the necessary work done before the sads hit…and that is rather an amazing victory…I’m staggered to be honest :)